The Honeymoon

I'm feeling like the honeymoon of my new life and being in culinary school is officially over. I'm not even sure why I'm broadcasting this for all to read, but I guess I'm hoping for some self-therapy by writing. I am not having a good week. Plain and simple.

One of the biggest differences between "typical" school and culinary school is the following. In "typical" school, most of the time, you can kind of hide out for a while. No one around you really needs to know if you haven't got a clue about abstract algebra or deductive logic, because you can sit back, take your notes, nod, nod some more, and act as if you know what's going on. You might take a test and do poorly, but the only other person who would know is your professor. You can hide just about everything about your experience in "typical" school, again, for the most part.

In culinary school, you can't hide. Everything you do is witnessed and the Chef (and your peers really) makes a mental note of it. From the minute you walk in the door when he can inspect your uniform to the minute you pull your final product out of the oven - every step in between in observed, inspected, and evaluated. Some days, it's not really a big deal. Other days, I feel as if I can't do anything right.

Because you know me well, you know a few things: 1. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. 2. I'm extremely hard on myself. 3. Patience is never easy for me.

Put those three in combination with the above and you can just imagine what sometimes happens.

I can't hide my frustration sometimes. I can't relax sometimes. And I start to feel at moments like nothing in my life is ever going to be easy again. I honestly can't remember when I last felt that things were easy, so I know I should be over it by now, but I'm not. But the most stupid part about all this is that we're talking about pastry for crying out loud. I mean, should a cake or a pie really trigger me to have so much frustration and agony that I get overwhelmed with self-doubt and question my ability to be here and function successfully?

Here's an example:



You're probably thinking, "That Crunch Torte looks pretty good to me." And from the outside, yes, it does look OK. But I can easily tell you there are three major things wrong with it.

First, the inside cake layers are not cut to equal sizes. This frustrates me because I have done this well in the past and yesterday it was absolutely terrible and I feel like I took a gigantic step backward. Second, the chantilly icing that is used was a disaster again. For the third week in a row, I have worked with this product, and each week I have done things differently and consciously tried to improve, and yesterday's effort was just as poor as the previous two. So I'm clearly not taking any steps forward in this regard either. And finally, the rosettes on the top are still not good either. Some are better than others, but they're still not where they should be after my third go at this. In summary, no real sign of improvement. And all I have to show for it is total self-doubt and misery.

I know it's a cake, and I know it shouldn't impact me on such a deep level, but this is my life now. This is the life I chose for myself. This is the investment I chose to make for my future. A future where everything I do is inspected and evaluated and the little things matter a great deal. I guess I haven't yet figured out how to work through this because I'm still feeling crappy about yesterday, and on top of that, I'm feeling crappy about parts of today. Like I said, the honeymoon, unfortunately, is officially over.

Crackers

In Thursday's afternoon bakeshop, we experimented with a variety of crackers, including dijon mustard, sun-dried tomato, whole wheat, and carta de musica. I didn't take any photos. The dijon mustard crackers had a bit of pepper kick to them so they weren't so great as a stand alone snack - they would probably go well with a salty soft cheese. The sun-dried tomato crackers were the tastiest as a stand alone snack. The whole wheat ones would also be better served with cheese or a dip or in soup. The carta de musica were made with a pasta machine to roll the dough into very thin, paperlike strips, which were oiled and sprinkled with seasonings. I love pasta machines so those were fun to make. Overall, a good learning experience on how to be able to make a cracker variety that can be used in so many different ways.


On a side note, help my blog get to 25 followers! If you're a regular reader, I'd love to know so please join the site so I can feel your love!

On another side note, it's officially fall and I am excited to start experimenting with new fall flavors, like pumpkin and maple syrup. I'll be doing a lot more "at home" baking over the next few weeks for practice. Today, I practiced my cake decorating so I hope to demonstrate some good improvement in Monday's class.

Marble Rye, Focaccia, Tyrolean Cake

"I want that rye, lady! Shut up, ya old bag!" - Jerry Seinfeld, in "The Marble Rye"



In Thursday's Breads class, we learned the magic behind the making of a marble rye. We mixed two separate batches of dough per a light rye recipe, and to one batch, we added caramel color to turn the light rye into a dark rye. We used two different types of caraway seeds as well; the standard seed in the light rye and a darker seed in the dark rye. After the fermentation process, the light rye was divided and the dark rye was divided separately. To incorporate into one roll, we used rolling pins and the jelly roll method to spiral the dough. They were shaped similar to the "batards" we made previously, slashed three times, and baked. The final product was definitely tasty and looks excellent:



In addition to the marble rye, we also made a variety of focaccia during class. I made the one with tomato, basil, feta, garlic, and pepper. Another group made one with carmelized onions, blue cheese, feta cheese, and walnuts:



Here is one other photo of focaccia; again one with carmelized onions, cheese, and walnuts, but the other with yukon gold and sweet potatoes:



And finally, we made Tyrolean Chocolate Cake, which is perhaps one of my new favorite cakes of all time. It has hazelnut flour, crushed hazelnuts, and chocholate chips, which is one of my favorite combinations. Also delish.

Super Size Me

During Wednesday's Nutrition and Sanitation course, we watched Super Size Me, which I had not previously seen but had heard about and read about when it came out a few years ago. Needless to say, the movie further drove home the many reasons why I choose not to eat at fast food establishments as often as possible.

I haven't eaten in a McDonald's in about a year; the last time being a very late night drunken craving and a really poor choice - it wasn't at all satisfying nor did it help my drunken munchies. Before that, I probably only ate there at most once a year anyway. I am pretty confident I can avoid eating at McDonald's for the rest of my life. I haven't eaten at a Taco Bell or Burger King in probably five years, so I don't think I'll have problems keeping those streaks alive. I have recently eaten Wendy's for the salad offerings but I have avoided them in the past few weeks because I really don't think they are "that" healthy. And I can honestly say I will never eat at White Castle, Bojangles, Popeyes, Chick-Fil-A or any other burger or fried chicken offering. I feel sick just thinking about it.

I do, however, stop occassionally at Dunkin Donuts and Subway. For some reason, I don't categorize those two establishments the same way I do the ones listed above. For Dunkin Donuts, as an example, I usually only go for the coffe and an occassional bagel, muffin, or donut. It's clearly for pleasure and "health" has nothing to do with it. I frequent Subway type places when I am traveling, along interstates, because they are cheap, quick meals that I can eat while driving.

I have been conscious about trying to avoid fast food establishments for a few reasons. First, I don't think the food really ever satisfies my tastes. And I think for a few extra dollars, I could feel better supporting an independently owned restaurant for a much tastier meal. Second, I don't really like what those establishments represent, in terms of mass food production, where their supplies come from, how they've completely altered the food industry, the role of staff, and other things like that. I guess in some ways, it's similar to my anti-Walmart campaign.

The truth is, though, it has been pretty easy for me to avoid fast food. For starters, I grew up in a town without fast food, and my parents never fed it to us as kids, so it was never part of my routine. Second, I now live in a city with a thousand restaurants to choose from. There's no need for me to support any chain, with the multitude of independently owned establishments. And I'm grateful for that.

Super Size Me is an informative documentary if you're interested in that sort of stuff.

Cream Puffs and Eclairs

In the afternoon Bakeshop, we learned how to make Pate A Choux (or Eclair Dough - literally translated as "paste of cabbage") and Pastry Cream. Pate A Choux has tons of applications, from cream puffs and eclairs to churros and crullers. It's a pretty interesting product to work with, due to its unique mixing style and its texture. So I definitely learned a lot of new skills today, and I'm pretty sure these will be put to good use in the future. Who doesn't love a cream puff?

This recipe is interesting because it is also what we will be graded on during our practical final at the end of the semester. We will have to write the recipes from memory and then create them in superior form. You can bet that I will be practicing this over the course of the semester.



We made cream puffs by measuring the dough with a portion control scoop. The cream puff is sliced in half; pastry cream is piped into the bottom shell and then whipped cream is piped above it, about an inch thick. The top is dusted with powdered sugar and then carefully placed atop the cream so as not to smush the powdered design.

The eclair is shaped by piping with a pastry bag. It is then filled with pastry cream and then the top is dunked into chocolate. The plate above is what I'll be graded on for my final. I look forward to practicing!

Cinnamon Raisin Bagels & Bavarian Pretzels

Today was another super fun day in Breads class, despite the fact that I dropped and dented a $400 mixing bowl. It wasn't my fault. Honestly. The muppets who used the bowl before my group didn't put the bowl back on the stand correctly, so when Corley and I were filling it with ingredients, it dropped, hit the deck, and threw yeast water all over the place. Goooood times.

It was just a minor set back in the scheduling of our day, so it wasn't too dramatic. Just another lovely moment where people try my patience, which I fear is a lifelong battle I will never fully concur. I get annoyed, you know?

So anyways, on to the good stuff. Today we mixed doughs for bagels; Corley and I used dark raisins, golden raisins, and cinnamon. Other groups tried things like chocolate and dried cherries or walnuts and cranberries so it was an interesting day in experimentation. I like making bagels; it's a dough I'm comfortable with and my shaping continues to improve. Here's a snapshot of the bagels:



In addition, we also made Bavarian Pretzels and of course rolled and shaped them by hand. I also really enjoyed working with this dough. Like bagels, Bavarian Pretzels also take a bath before baking; the difference is while bagels take a bath in hot water mixed with sugar or honey, pretzels take a bath in cold water with lye. Do you know what lye is? I didn't, until today. Lye is sodium hydroxide. People most commonly know it as the stuff in Draino. So, you may be thinking, what?!? I was thinking the same thing, until Chef spelled out some rather fascinating history about lye and the plague and how someone figured out that this stuff can be appropriately used for foods and sanitation. Sodium hydroxide is also found in soaps. Anyway, the use of lye is what gives soft pretzels their unique flavor and color. It just needs to be used safely and correctly.

After the lye bath, the pretzels are sprinkled with salt. We also slashed ours. Chef complimented my slashing because I did a little more than the recommended and it made a really cool effect on the pretzel. Here's a picture of my best pretzel up close:



And here's a picture of a bunch of pretzels:



And because I have no shame, here's a picture my friend Courtney took of me and my best pretzel:



At the end of class, we mixed two starters, one to make rye bread and one to make focaccia. Just a little appetizer of breads to come!

Strawberry Whipped Cream Torte

In today's cakes class, we made a Strawberry Whipped Cream Torte. Like the previous torte, this one was again made with a yellow chiffon genoise, but this time in three layers. And similarly, this one also had a whipped cream icing, which I am still struggling with a bit. I know what I need to improve so I'm already looking forward to next week's class.



In between the cake layers are layers of whipped cream and diced strawberries. This cake can be made with other forms of fruit so it is versatile. I need to practice my icing, so I may have to work on that over the weekend so I can keep getting better. All in all though, this is my favorite of the cakes we made so far.